*is a millenial thinkpiece writer* “social media and the internet allow us to be intimate with ppl over long distances, allow us to be more open and sincere in a way we havent had the opportunity to before, in fact the internet is the augment to human connection we’ve been desperate for since the conception of language mediated experience through abstraction, finally the people we wouldve otherwise lost touch with we now share our days with remotely, asynchronously, but still closely” *closes macbook, never responds to mom’s texts except in order to secure money to buy weed and kombucha once every two months after running out of adderall to sell, breaks up with people using a technique called ghosting, finds new mates by picking them based on aesthetic of their default picture in an app modeled after flash cards, follows more ppl than could reasonably facilitate anything greater than superficial and cursory engagement with in accordance with dunbar’s number, longs for high school friends only out of a guilty absence of vulnerability with new peers because nobody asks about pasts because anyone’s history could be known by researching online, any chance at remote vulnerability having vanished because of semiannual effort put into expunging shameful wall posts and tagged photos and status updates and tweets predating 3 years prior, dissociates constantly while making eye contact but as a skill rather than as a condition, gets fucked up every weekend and wonders why overwhelming pleasure in all spaces leaves only physical nausea and an empty tomblike space behind eyes, a casket for something but unsure what*

*is a millennial artist* ahh yes, finally, thanks to the democratization of art and the development of populist means of dissemination, the Big Bad Art Institutions hav finally crumbled, allowing me, an artist, to have a voice unmediated by the exchange of capital, no more selling out, i finaally get to have my own voice, unencumbered, uncensored, unabridged, i get to say exactly what i want to say exactly how i want to say it uncorrupted by the violence of hegemonic institutions of yesteryear *spends vast majority of time cultivating a web presence which is auxiliary to actual work in hopes that it will make people inclined to engage with the actual work, borrows both the language and strategies from marketing departments in other industries that were specifically designed to manipulate the General Populace into buying things or selling themselves, plays the role of the vendor and agent and director of marketing and copywriter and accounting department all at once leaving little to no time for actual art making, shortens and adjusts work to be more easily consumed on platforms which give equal weight to pith like “im so sad haha” and work that has taken years to make, acts in obeisance w/ chronological time and contemporary attention economies and predominating aesthetics to find a community of people who will consume work, predigests for the reader of the text by relying on these predominating aesthetics or else places barbs inside the work to inflame and disturb without consideration of who is being barbed which even then is subsumed by a predominating aesthetic so people are prepared to be hurt, attaches a selfie to every major release so people will maybe click the link and download it or pay attention even at all, begs for money on crowdfunding sites and decentralized distribution platforms and conforms work to more fit the structure of these outlets and only gets money from the people who are also begging on crowdfunding sites and decentralized distribution platforms leaving everyone approximately as broke as before, puts together art shows/zines/publishing houses in a desperate plea to get some form of organization and institutional power to steer the public taste so that more voices can be heard only to find that like any other institution under capitalism any attempt to take the wheel only further reveals the vulgar tumbling of both the consuming public and the generating organizations as they careen towards a great rocky chasm while desperately yanking and tugging and pulling the wheel from each other but somehow their motion is in the exact same direction, is parallel, is identical*

*is a millenial academic at a party* mmm yes i think the most compelling aspect of the post-modern condition during the internet age is that we hav fractured the canon totally, making room for multiple logics, multiple epistemologies and as a result multiple languages to talk abt things, the monolith of academia has crumbled, voices hav been democratized for the first time in human history and now there is unprecedented access for marginalized voices to b heard *inelegsntly exits conversation after deeming other participants to be less equipped to have the desired discussion than self, walks to other corner of the room and repeats the same discussion and deems new participants unworthy of discussion after purported linguistic differences, puts 90s hip hop on bluetooth speakers and dances sort of mockingly and shouts all of the lyrics abt institional suffering playfully bc the rhetorical strategy of the song isnt canonized as serious work, walks to another room to do someone else’s coke off of a mirror while overhearing a conversation abt baudrillard and adds something to the discussion that was previously a tweet by self, gets too drunk to walk 15 minutes home and uses an app for crowdsourced drivers, gets in the car and tracks snow in and rolls the window down and asks the driver to turn the music down because already hungover somehow, doesn’t talk to them any further, goes to 7/11 for more beer, gets irritated with cashier who is explaining that it’s after 2am, goes home, wakes up and gets on the bus and doesn’t thank the bus driver, arrives at minimum wage job for weed money while TAing and teaching a single course while in doctoral program, declines simple polite discussion with older minimum wage coworkers by wearing headphones during all nonwork related tasks, reads deleuze at lunch and uncomfortably smirks and shrugs when coworker asks what book is abt, goes home, doesn’t thank the bus driver, wakes up, teaches intro course on american literature and only assigns outsider texts as a novelty, gets phd in english literature and finds an adjunct position at a second tier university and never, never, ever talks to a poor person or a person who lacks post secondary liberal arts education for remaining time alive except when absolutely positively necessary and even then in a critically distant bemused way at best or an irritated impatient contemptuous self-aggrandizing way at worst*